ENG 306: Theory in Practice

The Day After Tomorrow shall be the penultimate examination of the End of Semester Examinations comma Second Semester 2010stroke2011 for the seven Third Year English Honours Students at the Faculty of Arts at the University of Peradeniya fullstop The examination paper titled openparathesis write carefully as on the examination paper closeparanthesis ENG 303 colon Semantics comma Pragmatics and Discourse Analysis will be administered at precisely 11colon30 am openparanthesis UTC addition 5colon30 closeparanthesis two hours openparanthesis many whispers comma scratchingshyphenofhyphenhead comma jigglingshyphenofhyphenleg comma clearingshyphenofhyphenthroat closeparanthesis after which slim booklets of scribblings will be retrieved from the patients students for assessment of their aptitude for memoryhyphenmaking comma parroting comma bullshitting comma academizing English studies paragraph Their lecturer comma the young openparanthesis and just graduated closeparanthesis Chathurika Senanayake paranthesis whoinvertedcommas new hair style one of the males of the said seven is rather impressed with closeparanthesis comma has strikeoutperformedstrikeout taught well comma keeping her head above water in the face of having to teach the strikeoutradical and revolutionarystrikeout worst-reputed batch of English students since the famed English Department had openparanthesis and lost closeparanthesis its heyday fullstop In the hope of securing strikeoutthe status-quo and perpetuating the capitalist ideals of the academiastrikeout a strikeoutboring and predictablestrikeout good future the said seven strikeoutfacebookstrokeblogstrokecallstroketextstrokewatch moviesstrokemake out in secretstrokemasturbatestrokeorganize gayhyphenprotestsstrokesweatstrokesmokestrokecrystrokescreamstrikeout study throughout the night fullstop In the light of their oppression by the taxhyphenpaying masses that expect an educated generation of the said seven comma their representative had this to say colon openquote!@*^$%&@#$*(&@#$&!!*@&$^!#&$#%*&&………….closequote paragraphparagraph #static# paragraphparagraph endoftransmission fullstop

WTF?

So there was this birthday party last night. Yes, it was a monday but there was this birthday party last night. It was a small thing, just a bunch of us girls, very sober but very single and horny on Valentine's night. No I'm not giving details of what happened. NOTHING HAPPENED! What on earth but a perverted mindset would give anyone the idea anything happened? So yes, we were out late and I had trouble getting up in the morning. Surprise, surprise. I go to bed at 11pm and can't wake up in a decent state at 10am the next morning (no I don't have sleeping problems, I sleep like a baby!), so bed at 3am and waking at 8am is literally impossible. It was made easier though, by the men on my ceiling pounding and hacking away at some electrical wiring, sending clods of century-old dust descending onto my bed. But of course I missed my first lecture, I was expecting to. Only I didn't expect four of the other six in my class to do the same. One has a sick dog, the second too great a distance to travel, the third is suffering from a hangover on TUESDAY morning, and the fourth just plain forgot. Whatever right? Only the lecturer is not too happy, and our class is developing a reputation. A bad one. Despite the democratic and unbiased nature of everything going on at the Department of English and the University of Peradeniya, this can reflect badly on our final grades. And since I care about my final grades (most probably jeopardised by my erratic behaviour last semester) I allow my mother to yell me into not skipping the next class (which starts in 15 minutes) as well, brush my teeth, remember to take a leak, forget to brush my hair, put some clothes on (yes I remembered) and arrived at faculty in a huge rush, shoving food down my throat, very sleepy and very reluctant... to find the time's been changed to two hours later. Hence the post. Happy day!